The Beginning
by Amalia Autumn
Summary: Although it seemed all was lost, she knew they'd find each other again...


**Wow, didn't get the feedback I hoped to get for The End. XD But, since people don't care what comes up in their emails anymore, I'm going to post the sequel to The End. I recommend that, if you haven't read The End, read that before you read this. Regardless of title. However, if you already read The End, just read, review, and enjoy.**

Although the weather was mild, the air in the hotel room was incredibly thick and humid. Things that had been said an hour before hovered over Winry's head as she sat on her bed, staring out into nothing, dried tear tracks down her cheeks. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her eyelids had grown far too heavy. Her voice was hoarse from all the sobs that emerged from deep down inside her, and her entire body felt weak, limp, and numb from sitting for so long. She was so weak her mouth quivered, and her hands were like jelly whenever she tried moving them. Weakly she reached for the phone on the nightstand, and she picked it up, hearing the dial tone. After a moment's hesitation Winry finally began dialing, her fingers almost pressing the wrong numbers at some point. After two rings, a formal voice answered, "Yes?"

"Um...can I have room service come up please?" her voice didn't sound quite like her own, she had to clear her throat a few times just to make her voice stop cracking.

"Yes, ma'am, what would you like?"

"Just a ham and turkey sandwich on whole wheat, toasted. And a bottle of water, too."

"Very well, miss, what room?"

Winry almost forgot the room, "Uh, room two twenty-three."

"We'll send your meal right away, miss."

"Thank you." Winry hung up, and lifted her knees up to her chin, letting out a shuddering sigh.

He said if she wanted to come down to eat with him, she could. But Winry knew that secretly, Edward didn't want her there. When it came to such drastic confrontations Ed mostly wanted to be left alone. Winry actually never wanted to face him again, being the coward she was. After confessing to someone who was incredibly guarded that she loved them, and then they just left without an answer, Winry most definitely wanted to avoid confrontation. It was funny how her and confrontation used to go together so well. Now it just didn't look right in her eyes anymore.

Winry felt so lost at that instant. So what was there to do? If she stood in the room Edward would be bound to come back, and she'd just pretend he wasn't there, right? Winry snorted. She might as well talk to a wall.

Or would she pack up now and leave? Or would that seem too cowardly? What if he walked in on her while she packed? Or perhaps when she opened the door, he would be standing there?

Staying seemed too desperate and leaving seemed too cowardly. Winry huffed and brushed a strand of blonde hair from her eyes, and then she turned to the nightstand, almost hoping the phone would ring and somehow it would be Ed. She was also hoping the phone would never ring again.

Beside the phone was the room key.

Edward had left her with the key. She'd locked it after he left.

Winry fought the urge to seize it, and lock the door as she would leave the room and just run somewhere. Anywhere. Even if that be the next town over.

There was a soft knock at her door. Winry tensed up like a deer about to get shot by a hunter, and she stood frozen. The only thing that seemed all right was her voice as she managed to choke out,

"Who is it?"

"Room service, ma'am."

Winry sighed with relief. Thank goodness it wasn't Ed, she wasn't ready to face him (if she even could anymore). And yet inside she screamed in frustration that it wasn't Ed. Why wasn't it Ed, dammit?!

She slowly rose, and opened the door. An elegantly dressed man held out the food in a tray. Winry took the tray and handed him his tip. He thanked her and left.

Winry closed the door, alone once more. She'd sat down in her bed, slowly eating the sandwich that suddenly seemed to big for her. She drank the whole bottle of water, and only finished half of her sandwich.

Winry felt like a character in a sad, tear-jerking novel, a character who didn't get a happy ending. The end felt so empty, why did the end exist? The end was sad, the end was lonely, even if it was happy. Happy endings only made you smile for so long, and then you wish that happy ending happened again, when it never could. No matter what type of ending, all endings were sad. It was end of her and Edward. And it was a very sad ending indeed.

---

Although the watch was never, ever wound, he still looked at it trying to check the time. He kept opening and closing his watch, seeing four o'clock every single time. He also saw the very words he himself had engraved into the silver, reading it every single time.

Edward finally shut his watch, stuffing it into his pocket and sighing as the elevator doors opened for what seemed the hundredth time since he left the room he shared with Winry. His stomach growled in desperation for food, but Ed ignored it. His appetite suddenly wasn't important anymore. For an hour already he'd been leaning on the wall on the same floor as Winry, watching people leave the elevator and enter it.

Winry was so close by, yet Edward felt so far away. What was just a turn and a three-foot walk to the door seemed like crossing an entire country to Edward. Biting his lower lip, Edward tried to get his scattered thoughts together.

Dammit, he was an alchemist. He was Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. He always had a clear head, always knew exactly what to do and how to do it. He never panicked, he never felt so..._lost_, so _stupid_, so _scattered_.

Edward replayed the entire incident in his mind like a worn-out movie, and every time he heard Winry tell him she loved him, his mind would rewind, pause, and then play it again five more times before he finished the incident. After replaying the confrontation, Edward searched deep down inside himself to find out how he felt. All right, his childhood friend of eighteen, going on nineteen years now just told him that she was in love with him. How did he feel about that? And what was he going to do about it?

The only way to find out how he felt and what to do next was to examine the situation like an alchemist. That was the only way Edward knew how to understand and comprehend such things.

Analysis, part one: Winry Rockbell was upset that their friendship seemed to go down the drain after the deaths of Al, Pinako, and Den. He'd lived with her for two years, they barely talked, barely even looked at each other, and yet secretly both he and Winry never wanted to be alone, so they tolerated each other.

Analysis, part two: During the situation in the hotel room, Winry had told him she loved him. Ed remembered at that moment he felt like a zombie, incapable of feeling anything or doing anything.

Deconstruction (possible cause): He'd walked out of the room like some coward, maybe even destroying whatever he and Winry had left, if anything now.

Reconstruction...?

The reconstruction process was a big blank line in his head. Ed buried his face in his automail hand, mumbling, "Dammit!"

In his mind he wrote down a few theories:

Reconstruction: Leave? Apologize? Walk away? Tell her how he felt?

...What _did _he feel?

Well, Edward most certainly cared about her, she was his friend for years, she'd saved his life, she'd waited for him. She used to be someone he could easily talk to, until after the transmutation. He hated making her cry, although he felt hiding things from her was for her own good. He didn't want to get her involved in the things he did, the things he'd planned to do. He didn't want her getting hurt. He did care for her, and he loved her dearly, even though he never showed it.

But was he _in _love with her?

What was the difference between loving someone and being _in _love with someone anyway? In his logical mind, this question had no answer. He felt there _was_ no difference. It didn't make sense to him.

"C'mon..." he tried to force his mind to work, but again his mind did not compute the answer. Edward had never been more frustrated in his life. The only time he'd been so lost and confused was only when his leads for the Philosopher's Stone came to a dead end.

Dead end. Edward chuckled half-heartedly. His mind was at a dead end right now.

All right, a basic, easier question: Did he want whatever he had with Winry to end?

His mind finally computed something for the first time that night:

_No._

---

Winry laid on her back on her own bed, staring up at the clean, white ceiling. It looked so pure, so unscarred. Very much different from how she was right now. In her mind, she forced herself to finally admit it. She'd lost Edward. The only person she'd had left, the only person left to care about. Now Winry was all alone, her fear had come true. Being alone was so lonely, yet also so comforting. There was no one to cry over, no one to hurt her. But there was no one to talk to, no one to hold her, or even make her laugh. Winry let out a resigned sigh, and she closed her eyes.

Her eyes shot open when she heard a knock at the door.

This time, Winry knew who it was. She quickly sat up and stared at the door, ready to run into the bathroom, the closet, or even the fire escape. And she was also ready to face him, to just beg him not to leave her again.

With conflicted emotions, Winry remained frozen, still staring at the door.

"Winry?" his voice penetrated the silence.

Winry still sat there, staring stupidly, not knowing what to do.

There was a sigh, and she heard a low thump. Edward had leaned his elbow on the door.

"Come on, Winry, open up. I know you're in there."

Winry shook her head, knowing that he couldn't see her.

"I didn't see you leave, Winry, now open the door."

Pause.

"Winry, I don't have the key, dammit. Open the door."

Another pause.

"Please."

It was his plea that made Winry slowly rise and head for the door.

She froze when he spoke once more,

"All right, Winry. If that's how you want it, I'll leave you alone. I just wanted to talk to you, is all."

She heard his retreating footsteps and, with a flourish, she swung open the door and called out to his back, "Ed, wait!"

He stopped, but did not turn around. He only turned his head ninety degrees to his right, and muttered, "What?"

She left the door lazily open, and she headed towards him. She placed a hand on his metal shoulder and turned him around.

Staring into his eyes, she replied, "You wanted to talk?"

Ed was the one who broke the gaze, staring down to the floor and nodding his head.

Winry swallowed, "Well, I'm here." _I've always been here._

Ed gulped, he actually looked somewhat nervous. He kept placing his hands in his pockets and then taking them out again. He looked up at her after a long pause and bluntly said,

"I don't want us to die, too, Winry."

New tears filled Winry's eyes. Happy tears.

He looked down again, his bangs shielding his face,

"After Al...I--I didn't think there was anything else to live for. I'll be honest when I say I attempted to kill myself a few times before I headed back to Resembool...after I found out about...about Aunt Pinako. When I found out Pinako was gone, I came back. Because you wanted me to be there. I told you what happened to Al, and that's when we started living together, tolerating each other's presence. But then Den died. After that, we seemed to drift farther and farther apart. I'm going to say right now that I don't want that to happen. I don't want our gravestones to be sitting beside Pinako's and...and Mom's..." his voice wobbled at the end and then there was nothing left to say.

"And Al's." Winry finished softly, tears rolling down her face.

"Yeah." Ed's voice cracked as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

Winry finally wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close, burying her face into his neck as she took in his scent and said,

"We're not gonna die, Ed...not anytime soon."

At first Edward remained tense, arms at his sides, but finally, for the first time in years, he actually hugged her back. He was strong, he squeezed the life out of her, but Winry didn't mind. He didn't give her the answer she wanted, but she most definitely got the answer she needed.

A fulfilling happiness swept over her.

The beginning felt much better than the end.


End file.
